April 2005 Archives

Personally, I cry when I stomp a spider. Now, I do it anyway - they're nasty little critters. An arachnid the size of my fist once jumped from the ceiling to my pillow at 6 AM, with a THUD that woke me up from a sound sleep - I made a noise not heard since the last sabretooth grabbed a hapless cave dweller.

But I digress. Throw rice at a wedding, and birds eat it and explode (apparently - as teenagers my brothers tried this for weeks, to no avail). Throw birdseed and you're liable to get covered in bird poop.

But no one's found anything wrong with wedding bubbles yet. Get your guests puffing away at bubbles after your ceremony and the worst that'll happen is they'll all hyperventilate. Keep an ambulance standing by.

It's minutes before the wedding. Your bridesmaids are close to rioting as they try to get their hair in order. Chaos threatens. Groom starts to get nervous. Future in-laws and relatives begin glancing for the doorway, wondering if you've taken a flier.

But it's just the hair. What to do?

For an easy way to add sparkle to bridesmaid hairstyles, check out the Wedding Hair Jewels from Weddingstar. They simply twist into most hairstyles. Choose classic pearls or Swarovski crystals in colors to complement the bridesmaid dresses.

Last night I watched 24 and realized they're bringing back President Palmer. Which means that Jack Bauer's terminally vapid, annoying daughter can't be far behind. In a fit of depression I ate a quart of New York Super Fudge Chunk, wrecking my Atkins diet and giving me a fierce sugar hangover.

Here's a more guilt-free alternative, if you're on a protein binge: Buy a pound of Jordan Almonds for you -- uh, for your bridesmaids. Sure, they're candy-coated, but that doesn't mean they're not good for you.