Paris Breaks off Engagement to Paris

Word has it hotel heiress Paris Hilton called off her engagement to shipping heir Paris Latsis, because she is “too young to settle down.” We suspect the breakup may have had more to do with Latsis’ refusal to remove his tattoos, which Hilton had earlier stated was a stipulation to her affection. Hey Latsis, if you’re looking to smooth things over with the sought-after socialite, we suggest getting a tattoo cover kit. And while you’re at it, get a job. And I'll send back my bridesmaid dress.